I used to be that girl. Reading that blog, I was transported to a time in my life when I used to sit around waiting for a phone call or even a text message.
Not once, not twice, but over and over again. And I'm pretty ashamed to admit that.
From the time I was in early high school, I tended to seek approval from the guy I was dating. Which was actually pretty lame when you consider that he wasn't the best guy to be seeking approval from. He cheated, he lied, he used me. And still I came back for more.
Until I met C, I honestly don't think I had a healthy relationship. I won't go into all the gory details now, but suffice to say, I was treated terribly, repeatedly, and I never stood up for myself. I never walked away, ran away, or even said "f* you." I constantly wondered what did I do wrong? How can I keep him/get him back? It took a long time and a very eye-opening "break-up" experience to make me realize that it wasn't me. Now I'm not saying I was never the cause of any problems... I'm sure I did my fair share of crappy things. But I never intentionally hurt someone or cheated or used. And I sure as heck wasn't the problem causing these guys to treat me like crap. At least not on the surface.
Women, NO ONE has the right to make you feel like less of a person. And you should NEVER give someone the power to do so. Relationships are equal partnerships. If there is not equality in your relationship, it isn't a healthy relationship. I said before that I wasn't the problem causing the guys to treat me terribly. And that's true... to an extent. But at the same time, coming back over and over again perpetuated the problem. I didn't stand up for myself, I didn't walk away. And in being cowardly, I encouraged these behaviors.
After all was said and done, while sharing a bottle of wine and some cake, a dear friend of mine decided to help me see what problems reoccurred in my relationships. She made a pie chart of all my terrible relationship decisions. (I say all like there are hundreds. There aren't. But there are definitely more terrible decisions than I like to think of.) In creating this masterpiece, I realized something...
What, you might ask, did you realize?
I realized that (and I think these were my exact words that night) I'm quite the catch. I have some awesomely amazing qualities. And if these men didn't realize and appreciate that fact, they didn't deserve me. Well, that, and that I had a tendency to date losers. :)
That freakin' pie chart saved my life. Or at least my sanity and my future. After recognizing what so many people had been telling me for so long... I decided to stop looking for love. Being the great catch that I am, I figured it could find me. And what do you know? It did. With a little help from a fortune cookie, a margarita, and some friends. I found a guy who loves me for me, never makes me wonder why he won't call or text, and never lets me doubt his love for me.
Never settle for less than you deserve. He is out there somewhere.
Live from Okieland,
E
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