A Tragic Moment in Tragic Times

I'm not one to usually comment on politics. I don't typically get involved in the debates over various issues in our country. That's not to say that I don't have an opinion or care about the issues - I just don't feel like I need to share those thoughts with the world.

However, I'm making an exception for the Dallas police officer massacre that happened last night. C called me to explain what was going on (I was at my mom's house and missed the news broadcast), and I was in shock. As more details surface and I watch press conferences regarding the situation, I can't quite organize my thoughts. So here is my attempt to organize my mind and come to terms with the grief in my heart for those heroes that protected people protesting AGAINST them.

This situation is a tragedy. There is no other way to look at it. The men and women in blue put their lives on the line every. single. day. Not a day goes by that they are not risking everything for people they have never even met. I'm not saying that their lives are worth any more or less than any other, and I'm not undermining the loss of life of those black men who were killed by officers that led to protests... But, I am saying that we need to call this what it is: an evil action against people that were doing their job to protect others. 

I do not believe all police officers are good. Let's be honest, there are bad people in this world. Some of those people are likely police officers. I even think that some police officers start out with good intentions and the power eventually changes things. However, with that being said, there is absolutely no reason that we need to judge all police officers on the actions of a few. Because I truly believe most police officers are good. And honestly, I wasn't there in any of those "unarmed" situations. I have only seen what media has twisted, and I know there are always at least two sides to every story.

One thing I do know is that regardless of my beliefs about police officers, I will always treat them with respect. I personally have never had a bad experience with a police officer. Now, obviously I have a bit of a bias as I am a white female, and I'm not overlooking that. But I do know that regardless of my thoughts, if I get pulled over (or are in some other way interacting with police officers), I treat them with utmost respect. However, I try to do that with all people I interact with. It's called common decency.

I know it is thought by many that the world is made of good and bad people. But that is a little too dichotomous for my way of thinking. I think the world is made of people. And those people make choices - sometimes good choices, sometimes bad choices, and sometimes indifferent choices. And sometimes those choices don't affect anyone else, but sometimes they do. In this case, a group of people chose to make an extremely evil choice against people they had never met based on a predetermined belief system that police officers are bad. And that choice impacts not only those directly involved, but the entire nation.

The problem here, as I see it, is indifference to those choices. There is outrage on behalf of those officers, but there is also some condescension. This is being called a "gun-related tragedy" by politicians who are using it as a stepping point to further the push for better gun laws. I heard during one news broadcast that "the police officers had guns and didn't stop the violence, so we need to stop saying that good people with guns can stop bad people with guns." But let's take a step back and look at what is really happening. This tragedy is being shepherded into the camp of gun-related tragedy, but what it really is is a people tragedy. Stop villainizing guns and start looking at the real issue - that people are okay with people, any people - black, white, men, women, police officers, civilians - being murdered. Let's address the real issue here instead of ignoring what really happened and start loving one another again

I could go on, but let's leave it at that. Love one another in spite of our differences.

Love from Okieland,
E

Reminiscing about my guy

I found a cute little significant other survey on facebook. Now while I don't typically post stuff like this on facebook, I thought it might be fun to answer a few questions on here. Especially since it is always fun for me to reminisce about the beginning of our relationship. With Valentine's Day coming up, what better time than now?

1. Where did you meet your other half?
At the Lincoln house (aka my friend Delaney's and his friend Schuyler's)

2. How long have you been with your significant other?
almost 4 years

3. If you're married, when did you say I do?
June 21, 2014

4. What is your song to your significant other?
as in the song we danced to on our wedding day? "Crazy Girl" by Eli Young Band. If I had to choose a song that reminded me of him... There are so many, but probably "Wanted" by Hunter Hayes. If C liked country music, I could see him really resonating with that song. 

5. Do you have any children yet?
Nope, but we have a pretty childlike dog.

6. What's your favorite thing about your other half?
That he is my biggest fan and he always finds a way to make me feel good about myself.

7. Were you and your other half high school sweethearts?
Nope.

8. Where was your first date?
Well first "hang out" was at his apartment, watching Big Bang Theory. First "official date" was Buffalo Wild Wings. 

9. How long were you dating before you said "I love you"?
Approximately 3 months. I know it was after my dad passed away because it came at a time when I was in tears and he was just telling me how much he was hurting for me because he loved me. But I knew he loved me before that, when he came to my dad's service without having ever met him or any of my family.  😊

10. How long were you dating your other half before he/she proposed?
1 year and 5 months after our first date (to the day!)

11. Where is your favorite place you have traveled with your other half?
Puerta Vallarta, Mexico🌸

🌊🗻

12. How do you and your other half usually spend Valentines Day?
Just being together... I don't think we have ever done the "traditional" Valentine's Day thing.  A few years ago we went to dinner at the casino and watched Despicable Me 2! :)

13. What does your favorite 'date night' consist of?
Cuddling together watching a movie or just spending time together. ❤

14. What is the best gift you have received from your other half?
My engagement ring because of what it stands for. And my camera because it was totally unexpected and he bought it for me because he knew I had been wanting one. 

Pie Chart of Bad Decisions

I just read a blog post about women who wait on their boyfriends to text them or contact them in some way.

I used to be that girl. Reading that blog, I was transported to a time in my life when I used to sit around waiting for a phone call or even a text message.

Not once, not twice, but over and over again. And I'm pretty ashamed to admit that.

From the time I was in early high school, I tended to seek approval from the guy I was dating. Which was actually pretty lame when you consider that he wasn't the best guy to be seeking approval from. He cheated, he lied, he used me. And still I came back for more.

Until I met C, I honestly don't think I had a healthy relationship. I won't go into all the gory details now, but suffice to say, I was treated terribly, repeatedly, and I never stood up for myself. I never walked away, ran away, or even said "f* you." I constantly wondered what did I do wrong? How can I keep him/get him back? It took a long time and a very eye-opening "break-up" experience to make me realize that it wasn't me. Now I'm not saying I was never the cause of any problems... I'm sure I did my fair share of crappy things. But I never intentionally hurt someone or cheated or used. And I sure as heck wasn't the problem causing these guys to treat me like crap. At least not on the surface.

Women, NO ONE has the right to make you feel like less of a person. And you should NEVER give someone the power to do so. Relationships are equal partnerships. If there is not equality in your relationship, it isn't a healthy relationship. I said before that I wasn't the problem causing the guys to treat me terribly. And that's true... to an extent. But at the same time, coming back over and over again perpetuated the problem. I didn't stand up for myself, I didn't walk away. And in being cowardly, I encouraged these behaviors.

After all was said and done, while sharing a bottle of wine and some cake, a dear friend of mine decided to help me see what problems reoccurred in my relationships. She made a pie chart of all my terrible relationship decisions. (I say all like there are hundreds. There aren't. But there are definitely more terrible decisions than I like to think of.) In creating this masterpiece, I realized something...



What, you might ask, did you realize?

I realized that (and I think these were my exact words that night) I'm quite the catch. I have some awesomely amazing qualities. And if these men didn't realize and appreciate that fact, they didn't deserve me. Well, that, and that I had a tendency to date losers. :)

That freakin' pie chart saved my life. Or at least my sanity and my future. After recognizing what so many people had been telling me for so long... I decided to stop looking for love. Being the great catch that I am, I figured it could find me. And what do you know? It did. With a little help from a fortune cookie, a margarita, and some friends. I found a guy who loves me for me, never makes me wonder why he won't call or text, and never lets me doubt his love for me.

Never settle for less than you deserve. He is out there somewhere.

Live from Okieland,

E

A Brand New Year

62 minutes left in the first day of a brand new year. Whew, I'm squeaking this blog entry in!

I love New Year's Day. Besides the fact that I'm off work, C is off work, and my mom is in town, I just love the newness that is January 1. While this past year flew by and I can hardly believe it is 2016, I love everything that this day stands for. It is a chance to start over. A chance to begin again or refresh what worked from previous years. It is a chance to grow.

I'm asked every year by my best friend what my new years resolutions are. And every year, I have pretty much the same response: "I don't know. Probably to get in better shape and eat better."

And every year, I roller coaster on that resolution. I do really well at times, and really terribly other times. This year, I responded to the question my best friend asked with: "I don't know. I'm still thinking about it."

But I think I have decided on my New Year's Resolution 2016 edition. And it isn't to "get in better shape" or "eat better."

My resolution this year is to take more time for me and really focus on making each day more important, more useful, and more fulfilling. I realize this is extremely vague and could mean something different to every person reading this (or, ya know, it might if people were actually reading this). But that's on purpose. I know goals are supposed to be SMART - specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely; heck, I teach a lesson every year on goal setting. But I want my goal to be vague. Because it means I can frame it any way I want on any given day.

Okay, so how am I planning to accomplish this intentionally vague goal to "take more time for me and make each day more fulfilling"?

• I plan to work to implement and utilize a 'bullet journal' system instead of focusing on a planner or 18 different sets of lists. 
• I would like to read a daily devotional journal each day - I have one with short, cute, inspiring messages for each day. It's 3 minutes out of my day. I can do this for myself.
• I want focus on counting my blessings. Often after being stressed out at work and coming home to cook dinner and clean up the house, I get so caught up in the negative and the frustration. I'd like to try to find something positive in each day and record that in my bullet journal. 
• I want to take more time to meal plan - C and I have a bad habit of eating out more often than we should because I haven't been great about planning ahead.
• I really want to exercise for 30 minutes a day, excluding work. That can mean taking my dog for a walk, dancing, doing a workout video, heck, doing ankle raises while fixing my hair... I know I can do better at this. 
• Going to bed earlier. I feel so much better when I get enough sleep, but I stay up too late reading or just playing on my phone, and I lose precious sleep. Social media is wayyyy too present in my life. 

Okay, so now it's out there. I'll hopefully keep checking in and holding myself accountable in this blog.

I hope each and every one of you have thought of something you want to do better in 2016. Whatever it is, whether it is SMART or vague... Find a way to better yourself.

And remember, never miss an opportunity to tell someone you love them.


Live from Okieland,
E