After a month spent counting my blessings and expressing via pictures what I am most thankful for, I realize that I have A LOT to be thankful for.
Besides recording my daily thankfulness on instagram, I also checked my timehop daily and saw previous thankful posts from years past. And each one of those posts reminded me that there are positives in every day, and countless reasons to be thankful of our blessings.
As I write this, I would like to make a compilation of my blessings... Knowing full well that I can never truly count all of those blessings, as they multiply daily. But here it is as of right now:
1. My faith. Call this religion, call this belief, call it whatever makes you comfortable, but faith keeps me going when things are difficult.
2. My husband. I honestly was not sure I would ever find someone who could put up with my craziness, and he suits me so completely.
3. My mom. She centers me and listens when I need to chat. And she taught me all my craftiness I know.
4. My brother. He has always looked out for me and supported me.
5. My dad and the 25 years I had with him. I think we all tend to take people in our lives for granted until we have lost someone close to us.
6. My niece. Even though she isn't my child, she taught me about that unconditional love an adult can have for a child.
7. My in-laws. I definitely got lucky when I married into their family. I know not everyone is blessed with great in-laws, but I am!
8. My friends. I could do a separate number for each one, but for length sake, just know that I am thankful for them.
9. That I never wanted for anything growing up, or now for that matter. My parents always made sure I had food, clothes, shelter, and most importantly, love. I'm still blessed with those things.
10. My puppy. Until her, I never understood how people could love a pet like a child.
11. Hugs. Hugs make everything better.
12. Laughter. C brings so much laughter to my life and I can't imagine living without it.
13. Coffee. It makes getting up much easier and more enjoyable!
14. Chocolate. Need I say more?
15. Owning my own home. I feel as though I'm working toward something instead of throwing money away.
16. My car. When I hit the deer a few weeks ago and shared a car with C, I realized how thankful I am to have my own car.
17. My grandmas. I still have 3 (2 bio and 1 "step") and they are all amazing women.
18. My job. Although it drives me crazy a lot of the time, getting hugs from kiddos every day makes me pretty lucky.
19. OSU. What a wonderful university family. Never have I been more thankful than after the Homecoming tragedy, when I saw how everyone pulled together. #stillwaterstrong
20. Books. I'm thankful for my love of reading so I can disappear into a different world when I am feeling stressed and overwhelmed.
21. The small things like naps, apple pie, candles, and pretty fall days.
22. Heated blankets. When you keep your house set on super cold, they sure are handy.
23. Wine after a long day. Or during a lazy day.
24. Shoes. I'm blessed to have a wonderful collection and boy do I love them!
25. Christmas lights. Those pretty, sparkling lights that bring joy whenever I see them.
I could go on, but I'm just going to end on an even (or uneven, to get technical) 25.
Count your blessings. Every day, and not just during the month of November. Show gratitude.
Live from Okieland,
E
Sunday, November 29, 2015
Sunday, November 22, 2015
Leave a mark
As I sit here on this quiet Sunday morning, with a heating blanket on my lap and my puppy curled at my feet, my thoughts are anything but quiet. Yesterday was spent with friends, watching our college football team lose a heartbreaking game, and with it, our undefeated season and our championship play-off hopes. But that isn't what has me in tears this morning.
While talking on the phone to my mom, something I do every morning, she mentioned a country singer duo by the name of Joey + Rory. She had seen a video and learned of Joey's fight with cancer. Her terminal, end-of-life, fight with cancer. The video she saw was titled "When I'm Gone" and made in 2012 - before Joey's cancer diagnosis. This video describes a wife's attempt to comfort her husband after she's gone. I've seen it. And it's heartbreaking how closely it models the couple's fight right now.
But even that isn't what has me in tears. Rory, Joey's husband, writes a blog. He puts his family's trials, tribulations, and triumphs out there for the world to see. And right now, there are a lot of trials. Joey is receiving end-of-life hospice care. She is spending time with her loved ones; precious time that is oh so fleeting. And she is doing it with a smile. And Rory, although I'm sure there are tears, is blogging it with a smile. He's sharing these last moments of Joey's life with the world, in the hopes that they resonate with someone.
Boy did they resonate with me.
I don't think I'm dying. What I mean is, I have nothing to indicate that I'm ill. I have no plans to go anytime soon. But neither did Joey. I don't think most people plan for that sort of thing. But now it has me thinking.
If something happened to me, how would my loved ones know what they mean to me? Sure, I tell them. Everyday, in fact. Multiple times a day. But I want them to have more than that. When my dad passed away in 2012, I didn't get to say goodbye. We knew he was sick - he spent a week in the hospital. But we didn't know it was time for goodbye. And I missed out on those final words.
For three and a half years, that has stuck with me. My dad was already gone by the time I got to the hospital. My goodbyes were said to a lifeless body. It's hard to not regret that. I know my dad loved me. I have no doubts about that. But what I do have doubts about is how often I told him I loved him. My dad and I had our fair share of issues. I loved him. Man, did I love him. But we fought. We argued. We were both stubborn and thick-headed as a brick, and we often butted those heads together.
When I go, I want to leave behind a legacy. I imagine most of us do. I want there to be no doubt that I loved with all that I had. So on this cold and quiet Sunday, I'm making a vow to myself:
Leave no doubt with the ones you love about how you feel. Love more, fight less, and always, always say the words.
Those words have power. They leave a mark. Leave your mark behind.
Live from Okie Land,
E
While talking on the phone to my mom, something I do every morning, she mentioned a country singer duo by the name of Joey + Rory. She had seen a video and learned of Joey's fight with cancer. Her terminal, end-of-life, fight with cancer. The video she saw was titled "When I'm Gone" and made in 2012 - before Joey's cancer diagnosis. This video describes a wife's attempt to comfort her husband after she's gone. I've seen it. And it's heartbreaking how closely it models the couple's fight right now.
But even that isn't what has me in tears. Rory, Joey's husband, writes a blog. He puts his family's trials, tribulations, and triumphs out there for the world to see. And right now, there are a lot of trials. Joey is receiving end-of-life hospice care. She is spending time with her loved ones; precious time that is oh so fleeting. And she is doing it with a smile. And Rory, although I'm sure there are tears, is blogging it with a smile. He's sharing these last moments of Joey's life with the world, in the hopes that they resonate with someone.
Boy did they resonate with me.
I don't think I'm dying. What I mean is, I have nothing to indicate that I'm ill. I have no plans to go anytime soon. But neither did Joey. I don't think most people plan for that sort of thing. But now it has me thinking.
If something happened to me, how would my loved ones know what they mean to me? Sure, I tell them. Everyday, in fact. Multiple times a day. But I want them to have more than that. When my dad passed away in 2012, I didn't get to say goodbye. We knew he was sick - he spent a week in the hospital. But we didn't know it was time for goodbye. And I missed out on those final words.
For three and a half years, that has stuck with me. My dad was already gone by the time I got to the hospital. My goodbyes were said to a lifeless body. It's hard to not regret that. I know my dad loved me. I have no doubts about that. But what I do have doubts about is how often I told him I loved him. My dad and I had our fair share of issues. I loved him. Man, did I love him. But we fought. We argued. We were both stubborn and thick-headed as a brick, and we often butted those heads together.
When I go, I want to leave behind a legacy. I imagine most of us do. I want there to be no doubt that I loved with all that I had. So on this cold and quiet Sunday, I'm making a vow to myself:
Leave no doubt with the ones you love about how you feel. Love more, fight less, and always, always say the words.
Those words have power. They leave a mark. Leave your mark behind.
Live from Okie Land,
E
Monday, November 9, 2015
So I'm almost embarrassed to post....
It has been months since I last posted. I'm embarrassed to say that I'm not really that surprised. I have a really bad habit of starting things, getting bored/overwhelmed/forgetful/pick your description, and not following through.
That being said, I'm sorry. I'm not apologizing to my avid readers (I don't think I have any)... But I am apologizing to myself. I made a deal that I would write, and I let myself down. And reading through my old blogs, I'm disappointed. I enjoy writing. It frees me. It makes me feel complete. And I like to think I'm decently good at it.
As it has been 8ish months since I last posted, I have A LOT of things circling around in the abyss I like to call my mind. Ready for random?
Puppies, TV, shoes, my dad, my work, my home.... Ooooh, things just got real.
Pick any of those and I could write a blog post. But pick any of those last 3... I could write a novel. Okay, that's unfortunately not the truth. Because if it was, I would have already have a best seller on my hands. Or a dud, but I would still be considered a real writer.
I'm going to start by sharing something that has been on my mind for the past few days. Well, honestly, it's been circling around up there since C and I got married, but it's been more up front since a conversation we had Saturday while sitting by our firepit. Our home. As in, where will ?
C and I are both from Oklahoma. The difference is that, while I was raised here, none of my extended family lives in Oklahoma. C, on the other hand, grew up surrounded by grandparents and cousins. We have recently been talking about moving... Finding somewhere that we can make more money, enjoy our lives, raise a family. But I'm stuck on one simple fact - I don't want my kids to be raised far away from their grandparents. Unfortunately, for an educator, Oklahoma is the LAST (okay, second to last) place to want to work. We are underpaid, under appreciated, and largely overworked. Not exactly high qualifications when thinking of a career to raise a family on. C's company is attached to the oil industry, which is highly volatile. Right now, a career change might be helpful for both of us. But, realistically, that might mean leaving behind all that is known.
And therein, young grasshopper, lies the root of the problem. I don't like change. At all. Like, I'm the girl who freaked out when someone sat in "my seat" in grad school on the day of a test. I like comfort and routine. And I like my family. I don't want to be far away from those things. But I can't be away from C. He is truly my best friend. My soul mate. But how do I leave my mom, my family, C's family? How do I think about raising my kids away from their family like I was raised away from mine?
I wish I had an answer. I don't. And I don't think there is a simple answer. This isn't math and some things don't always come out exactly right in life. But I do know that, as long as I have C, we can work it out. Because nothing is too difficult when looked at through the eyes of love.
Live from Okie Land,
E
That being said, I'm sorry. I'm not apologizing to my avid readers (I don't think I have any)... But I am apologizing to myself. I made a deal that I would write, and I let myself down. And reading through my old blogs, I'm disappointed. I enjoy writing. It frees me. It makes me feel complete. And I like to think I'm decently good at it.
As it has been 8ish months since I last posted, I have A LOT of things circling around in the abyss I like to call my mind. Ready for random?
Puppies, TV, shoes, my dad, my work, my home.... Ooooh, things just got real.
Pick any of those and I could write a blog post. But pick any of those last 3... I could write a novel. Okay, that's unfortunately not the truth. Because if it was, I would have already have a best seller on my hands. Or a dud, but I would still be considered a real writer.
I'm going to start by sharing something that has been on my mind for the past few days. Well, honestly, it's been circling around up there since C and I got married, but it's been more up front since a conversation we had Saturday while sitting by our firepit. Our home. As in, where will ?
C and I are both from Oklahoma. The difference is that, while I was raised here, none of my extended family lives in Oklahoma. C, on the other hand, grew up surrounded by grandparents and cousins. We have recently been talking about moving... Finding somewhere that we can make more money, enjoy our lives, raise a family. But I'm stuck on one simple fact - I don't want my kids to be raised far away from their grandparents. Unfortunately, for an educator, Oklahoma is the LAST (okay, second to last) place to want to work. We are underpaid, under appreciated, and largely overworked. Not exactly high qualifications when thinking of a career to raise a family on. C's company is attached to the oil industry, which is highly volatile. Right now, a career change might be helpful for both of us. But, realistically, that might mean leaving behind all that is known.
And therein, young grasshopper, lies the root of the problem. I don't like change. At all. Like, I'm the girl who freaked out when someone sat in "my seat" in grad school on the day of a test. I like comfort and routine. And I like my family. I don't want to be far away from those things. But I can't be away from C. He is truly my best friend. My soul mate. But how do I leave my mom, my family, C's family? How do I think about raising my kids away from their family like I was raised away from mine?
I wish I had an answer. I don't. And I don't think there is a simple answer. This isn't math and some things don't always come out exactly right in life. But I do know that, as long as I have C, we can work it out. Because nothing is too difficult when looked at through the eyes of love.
Live from Okie Land,
E
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